Stephen J. Groak Reviews: Seventeen Seconds

How long does it take to get from Avondale, Auckland, New Zealand, to Chula Vista, California, USA?

I don’t know…thirteen hours and change.

Forty-one years, five months, and twenty-one days.

What did you do—swim across the Pacific Ocean, with an extended holiday in Hawaii?

Correct that: Seventeen Seconds.

1981: Orchard Street, Avondale, Auckland, New Zealand.

Side One:

“A Reflection”

I am an angst-ridden introvert, where reflection becomes a never-ending prison of internal criticism and self-doubt. I am lying on the floor of a living room flat, eyes closed, with two speakers on either side of my head, music blaring, listening to Robert Smith and the lads.

"Play For Today"

To escape the loneliness and emptiness I feel inside. I know, I know, not the most productiveuse of my time. “I don’t really care.”

“Secrets”

I have them…personal secrets, mates' secrets, family secrets. God knows.

“In Your House”

Mark P.’s house/flat actually. He lets me sleep on his couch for five bucks a week in rent. Mate’s rates for this Kelston Boys’ High School student. Pretending, killing time, pretending.

“Three”

Well? I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.

Side Two:

“The Final Sound”

Don’t let it be a scream. The sound blasting out of the speaker by my right ear seems…different…behind the sound a final sound…in the beginning, the middle, and the end…always....

“A Forest”

Where is that girl? I am lost in a forest of melancholy.

“M”

M. Mmmm. Mmmmmmmm. So good. Fading away in the song.

“At Night”

I open my eyes. Tense and relax the body as I reposition myself on the carpet. The sun that had hung in an Auckland sky is slowly dipping below the horizon, tracking a time and space shared with you, Robert Smith, Matthieu Hartley, Laurence Tolhurst, and Simon Gallup.

“Seventeen Seconds”

There’s a lot to experience in that time.

May 21, 2023, North Island Credit Union Amphitheatre, Chula Vista, California, USA.

The Cure Tour: Shows of a Lost World

Robert Smith and the band are on stage.

“A Forest”

Wait, wait, wait…I recognize “the girl.” It’s you, Robert Smith, and the music of this album calling me “again and again and again and again.” Back then you were a broke teenager’s aural therapy…

And now? I am not lost or alone. Not this time. I am at a Cure concert. There’s mi esposa, Teresa de Jesus—and over there mi sobrino Brian A. All around I see a forest of friends and fans packed within the amphitheater. My people. Singing in harmony, together, your lyrics.

May 21, 2023: Driving home after the concert, past and present selves conversing.

Cured?

No. Work in progress. I can, however, see the forest and the trees.

Me too.

🥝🥝🥝🥝